The Green-Eyed Monster

Ok, I'm baaaack!! I'll need to do a bit of a diary entry blog of what the last couple of months have been like, since I've been so quiet over here... But for now, I really wanted to get this one out to you! I listened to a podcast about jealousy, and I thought it had a really powerful message, because in the modern world of social media, there's so much negativity around "the comparison game" or looking at someone else's highlight reel with envy... And although jealousy definitely has its negative connotations, I thought it was really interesting to flip that, and look at how it can be helpful instead! What if you could use that jealousy to be better?? What if you could use it to fuel your passion instead of take away from it?? The podcast made an excellent point about the difference between being jealous of someone, and aspiring to have someone's life - and it might surprise you; I know I'd never thought about it this way before! When you look up to, or aspire to someone's lifestyle/career, etc, you're mostly looking at it as though it's unattainable. You might think "oh that's cool" or "I wish that was me," but it's more so through the lens of I-could-never-achieve-that, right!? Jealousy on the other hand, stems from the realisation that "that could be me, if only I'd put in the work." Jealousy then, has the power to either discourage us or drive us! So I challenge you, next time you're scrolling on social media and you feel jealous of someone's highlight reel, ask yourself why!? If you're jealous of someone's health journey, is it because you know you could have the same results if you were consistent instead of on and off the diet trends?? If you're jealous of someone's work promotion or business achievement, is it because you have never stuck at anything long enough to have success in your chosen field?? Even when it comes to pregnancy announcements or someone's new puppy, the jealousy will usually stem from the deep understanding that "that could be me, but it's not, because xyz..." And then the excuses start, because of why we're not the one putting up the pretty social media post to celebrate with our audience... But what if we could use that jealousy in a more productive way!? Instead of judging yourself, or justifying why you're not there in your own journey yet, why not use it as a time of self reflection instead? What goals do you have that are parallel to your Facebook friends' latest achievement?? What's a step you can take that will move you closer to achieving your own goals?? (Instead of just coveting everyone else's!) Use the feelings of jealousy to drive you instead of letting them hold you back and fall into self pity, or even worse, self blame! And on that note, become a more conscious consumer; instead of just mindlessly scrolling through social media, be aware of your triggers, notice what sends you into a spiral, and learn how to self regulate and take yourself out of that state. Some tips could include restricting your screen time so you have some headspace away from the constant spewing of content that is our news feed, or, unfollow accounts or people that don't make you feel good; make your news feed a safe and uplifting space instead! Back to the podcast (it was Your Daley Pass with Fiona and Courtney, if you're interested in listening to the whole thing for yourself!), they brought up a really great example using wedding/engagement rings that really resonated with me! Now anyone who's got a ring or ring set obviously loves it because it's a symbol of what they share with their partner, and it's unique and special to their relationship... So the message the ladies shared was that we can still think our friend's rings are beautiful without it taking away from what our own rings mean to us. "That's good, for her; and mine are good, for me!" Someone else's weight loss progress is amazing, for them and where they're at in their journey, but it doesn't take away from where we're at in our own journey - see the connection??

I think the ring thing really resonated with me because it's something that comes up for me every now and then over the years. My own wedding band is quite simple and practical; I chose one where the stones are embedded into the ring so that there's nothing sticking out that can get caught on anything (and I don't wear it while I'm working anyway), and I didn't have an engagement ring, for the simple fact that I wouldn't have worn it! As it is, my wedding ring is mostly a special occasions thing, or I wear it on weekends or when I'm around the house, simply because it's the best chance I get to actually have it on. You can imagine then, how those feelings of jealousy (or is it aspiration?) can sometimes creep in when my friends have these beautiful big diamonds, and proper ring sets, that are absolutely stunning! And then I remember how much I absolutely LOVE my own ring, and I remember how my hubby and I chose it together, and I remember all the reasons why it's good, for me; and if my friends' gorgeous rings are good for them, then I can just be happy for them for having a ring that means as much to them as mine does for me!

This podcast really flipped the script on jealousy for me, and it made me realise how I can use that social media comparison game to become a better human, and reach further for my own goals. How does jealousy come up for you?? Does it discourage you? Or does it drive you to do better and be better?? As humans we have a whole range of emotions, and it's important to allow ourselves to feel them and work through them! There's no such thing as a good or a bad emotion, it's just who we come out the other side as, and how we let those feelings rule our day... And maybe, just maybe, jealousy can become our superpower instead of our kryptonite!