Why Write?

Hello again! Slow down 2021 - it's been a hectic year, and I am all too ready for the next 6 month's to go a little slower please! I wanted to share with you today a little insight into why I actually write these blogs - I know I haven't been all that consistent lately, and although I absolutely want to bring value to you guys, I never want to find myself writing for the sake of writing! I want to write what is real and true and inspiring for me in each moment. It's funny because I actually had a big brain dump of blog ideas last month - the things I think about while I'm riding my 4 wheeler around at work!! But it sometimes takes me a little time to flesh them out into a cohesive post to share with you guys, hence the delay! I feel like last month I was just in survival mode; working some crazy hours at work while also trying to juggle all the things; blog writing just didn't quite make it to the top of the list! Although it definitely gave me some time for reflection, and one of the biggest things I was thinking about is why I actually write. I think the biggest thing that came up for me is that I write for myself; for my own mental health, for my own sanity. I always kept a diary as a kid, and have recently gotten back into journalling, and this seems to just be an extension of that! Writing down my own thoughts, and feelings, and experiences; and if they happen to be helpful for someone else, well that's a bonus! I actually don't really care how many people do or don't read these; right now, they're for me - they're helping me in a way that I can't quite articulate, and I just trust that the people who need to read them will find their way here! Since starting my online business, I've struggled with stepping into the service of others, since I've literally been living in survival mode for so long. They say you can't pour from an empty cup, and that was me! I sometimes don't feel like I have very much left to give, but writing fills my cup up a little more, and therefore allows me a little more to share with others! In the past I was doing things for others because I felt like I had to, or because it was "the right thing to do," and it was at the expense of myself because I wasn't filling my own cup up first. But I'm reaching a point where I can prioritise my own health and happiness without feeling guilty, and also give more to people around me because I have more to give! And writing helps me do that! Whether the words I write are a direct help to someone, or its simply the act of writing that gives me the emotional capacity to help someone else, writing is a creative outlet for me! I heard the other day that the need to create is a basic human need, and if we aren't consciously creating every day then we struggle to find that fulfillment and contentment in our daily lives. And creating can be lots of things - it doesn't have to be painting or drawing! It can be decorating your home, cooking something from scratch, planning a trip, writing, taking photos, or even daydreaming! Let your creative brain run free! Create for yourself first, and you'll soon find that what you create can serve others! Whether it's a yummy meal you share with a loved one, a pretty photograph you post on social media, or chatting with your friends about your dreams and goals; creating can be an inspiration, a hope, and a joy to the people around you. And it's really great for your own mental health too, trust me! Mental health has been a big thing for me this year, and I've been consciously doing things that help my mental wellbeing, and making some pretty big and scary decisions that are entirely selfish! I've actually made the decision to resign from my job - for me! I haven't been happy in my role for a long time, and have been struggling in my relationship, working so closely with my hubby. I need to take this step back for myself. I need the space to choose what really makes me happy, I need a break from the emotional burden of working full time with my hubby, and I need to do what's right for me this time! For the longest time, I've felt as if I was living someone else's life, and none of my decisions have been made with myself in mind first. When I said yes to starting my online business, that was the first little glimmer of doing something purely for me, and no one else! Isn't it ironic how many people I've actually been able to help since then!? Over the last 20 months or so, I've been able to see more and more of myself shine through from underneath all the other things I've burdened myself with. I've found a strength I didn't know I had, and I've felt appreciated in a way I hadn't before. I've grown into a person that can walk away from a situation that is no longer serving me; even though it's entirely terrifying to be leaving a good steady income to work on my own dreams! But I want to ride more, I want to bake and sew more, I want to garden more, and I want time to have a clean house again!! And it's not too much to ask. I'm standing up and asking for what I really want. I'm going to be able to ride horses every day, I'm going to have slow mornings, I'm going to have fun! I'm going to continue to help people with their health and wellness, and inspire and empower others to create that income stream online that will give them the freedom to choose themselves. This time, I choose me. When will you decide to choose you too??