"Mum Rage"

"Mum Rage" is not your kids' fault.

Those angsty, overstimulated, overwhelmed, and stressed out feelings that you get as a mum, sometimes as a result of an action by your child/ren or spouse, so-called "mum rage," is NOT caused by the thing that triggered the explosion.

The deeper cause behind your mood and emotions is most often nutrition.

A well fuelled body is less susceptible to the symptoms of "mum rage."

Things that exacerbate my "mum rage:"

- not eating well

- not eating enough

- not enough food and too much coffee

- external stressors/distractions that pull me out of being present

- trying to do something that requires hard thinking or concentration when the toddler is awake (IYKYK)

Things that moderate those angsty feelings for me:

- choosing to fuel my body with real food first rather than picking or snacking

- prioritising quality supplementation on top of conscious food choices

- getting enough sleep, even if that means joining in on nap time

- finding a little moment of peace in each day, even if it's just setting a boundary about drinking my coffee without someone touching me

If you need help with how to fuel your body:

- download my Tips to Prioritise Breakfast (at every age and stage), for mums with littles, who are struggling to meet their own needs - check out my downloadables tab

- check out my "Mother's Nutrition" segment on instagram @holisticmomlibrary in the story highlights (scroll right to the early ones, I was one of the first to share)

- and send me a message! I love to chat about all things health, food, and motherhood 💌

Now, health is also a whole body, holistic, and intertwined system, which means that even if you've addressed nutrition, there might also be other areas to consider if you're still feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated. Sleep hygiene and mental health/mindset are two other key areas that I've identified for myself that needed more attention to moderate my "mum rage."

As a woman, you need more sleep than you think. Science has told us that 6-8 hours is the optimum amount of sleep... But it turns out, the study that came up with that number was done on men! Recent understanding shows that women need more like 8-10 hours, and even MORE when you're menstruating (or probably, when you're pregnant or breastfeeding).

So if you're running off 8 hours sleep, that's probably the minimum that you need, and if you're a mum, you're probably not even getting that.

So, how can we improve the quality and quantity of our sleep?

Sleep hygiene is very important, especially as women and as mother's, we're most likely not getting enough or enough quality sleep. Now, as a cosleeping/breast sleeping mum myself, I'm not going to tell you to change anything about your family sleep arrangements - I trust you've already chosen a sleep arrangement that gets the most sleep for everyone in your household...

But here's how you can "clean up" your sleep:

💤 Bedtime routines; you have them for your kids, implement one for yourself! Consider things like no screens for an hour before you want to be asleep, a calming bedtime drink to enjoy and wind down with, maybe with a book, and going to bed at the same time every night to align your body clock.

💤 If you can't limit your screen time at night, use night mode, blue light blockers, or red light filters to change the quality of the light entering your eyes after dark.

💤 If you're a night owl but know you need to go to bed earlier because your kids are early risers and they always wake you up before you're ready, try sleep meditations to wind you down and put you right to sleep.

💤 Limit caffeine in the afternoon; for me, if I have caffeine after 2pm it messes with my sleep.

Sleep hygiene practices will help you get better QUALITY sleep, even if the QUANTITY is lacking because you're up with your littles through the night, and a more rested mind and body will take the edge of those symptoms that present as mum rage because you're already on edge and running on coffee from a rough night!

And finally, the mother mindset -

When I first started my holistic health journey 5+ years ago, I was stunned to realise the ACTUAL impact that mindset and our mental health can have on our overall wellbeing (and the past 12 months in particular has shown me just what stress does to wreak havoc on my body).

Add motherhood to the mix, and our own self regulation, the mindset we approach life with, and our overall mental state, all filters through to the rest of our family and becomes even MORE important, in my opinion!

I feel super lucky to have had years of building these skills and habits, because it sure is hard to keep up with my own mental needs in the midst of the daily chaos.

If you're new to the mindset game, and have noticed your overwhelm and overstimulation leading to "mum rage" here are a few simple things you can try that may help, (and no, it's not hours of meditation or journalling!):

💭 less screen time; getting stuck in the scroll hole, or falling into the comparison trap of social media, is not doing your mindset any favours. Set boundaries around your social app time and choose to live your own life instead!

💭 consciously sit down to eat, without screens or distractions (and yes, I may have jotted down some thoughts in my notes app about this post, while eating my dinner last night. I'm not perfect, and this blog has been a good reminder to come back to what works for me) but your body will feel so much calmer and digest your meal easier if you're not experiencing triggers like a mean comment on the internet, or jealously over somebody else's curated life. Setting a boundary in this area is probably the single biggest thing you can do for your calmness throughout the day, though it is definitely easier said than done - I notice a particular spike in my nervous system when the toddler needs to poo halfway through a meal every.single.day!

💭 create before you consume - not necessarily content, but taking time to write or draw or bake before jumping on social media to "consume" content, for me, has drastically changed the time and the quality of time I spend on the apps.

💭 get outside - hang the washing out with your bare feet in the grass, step outside for a moment of sun or wind on your skin when the whole household is melting down, put an easy dinner in the oven and head out for an afternoon walk... Any kind of time in nature, fresh air, and sunshine is a great way to reset your nervous system (and for your kids too).

💭 release expectations... It probably goes without saying, that sometimes our days just don't go to plan, so choosing to release the expectation, instead of stressing over it, leads to a much more regulated headspace for mothering on those hard days!

💭 I'm going to put meditation and journalling here too - but let's be real, as mums, we just don't have the uninterrupted time to follow those super strict and long schedules. Instead, aim for 5 or 10 mins of each, and it can be at any time of the day. For journalling, start with just a few gratitudes if you cant think of anything to write; for meditation, a guided body scan is a great introduction to meditation if you struggle to just sit with your breath. Yoga is also a great way to combine movement and mediation for me, and the toddler joins in - even if it's just accessing the milk bar as I move through different poses!

Start with just one or two things that you think might make a difference for you, and as time goes on, add in more strategies to improve your mindset and curb that "mum rage."

Now, if you've read all that, and still feel like you need another layer of support - what if I told you, I have the perfect range of products for you, that will nourish your body, support your sleep, and clear that brain fog!? I've been helping women and mother's prioritise their own health and wellbeing for over 5 years; if you want to see if I can help you too, send me a message and let's work out the perfect bundle for your needs!